hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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