Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
