I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
