even my farts smell like vagina
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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