Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
