singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
