The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
