wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
