3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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