There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
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He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just high enough for therapy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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