So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize