Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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