Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You left your phone here
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