i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
