FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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