Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm at about main and main street
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.