Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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(303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o

Replies (11) Good night (3580) Bad night (1004)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

I'm jealous

(270): View more from Kentucky

My throat feels like a candle.

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(270): T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English. (1-270): I'm jealous (270): My throat feels like a candle. http://tfl.nu/vpw9

Replies (31) Good night (7654) Bad night (845)
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(404): View more from Georgia

So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.

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(404): So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that. http://tfl.nu/ssua

Replies (14) Good night (4106) Bad night (835)
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(404): View more from Georgia

you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is

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(404): you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is http://tfl.nu/bwe9

Replies (19) Good night (9354) Bad night (1009)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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(240): I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/grua

Replies (20) Good night (2745) Bad night (4401)
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(314): View more from Missouri

he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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(314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy

Replies (25) Good night (15443) Bad night (1325)
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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(303): It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic. http://tfl.nu/yvsq

Replies (28) Good night (2337) Bad night (4683)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid

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(250): Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid http://tfl.nu/igue

Replies (3) Good night (2628) Bad night (793)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I stole so many things from the ER last night.

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(309): I stole so many things from the ER last night. http://tfl.nu/lt6b

Replies (10) Good night (2605) Bad night (937)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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(720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n

Replies (12) Good night (4039) Bad night (902)
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(253): View more from Washington

Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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(253): Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand http://tfl.nu/sefe

Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (1253)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.

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(480): I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other. http://tfl.nu/zykp

Replies (12) Good night (1098) Bad night (584)
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(315): View more from New York

What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?

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(315): What's a good pandora station to masturbate to? http://tfl.nu/c2un

Replies (8) Good night (577) Bad night (978)
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(253): View more from Washington

How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?

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(253): How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head? http://tfl.nu/0ahi

Replies (6) Good night (778) Bad night (563)
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(561): View more from Florida

She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.

(315): View more from New York

How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??

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(561): She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation. (315): How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives?? http://tfl.nu/1ctg

Replies (3) Good night (1860) Bad night (723)

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