We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.