Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
