In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
they need to just BURY HIM!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm too high and old for this...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
