I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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