someone owes me an orgasm
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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