new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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