Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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