I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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