yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
