wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
