Don't make out with my wife yet
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
