is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
