Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
