Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
