Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
