the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize
