yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize