You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
