I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
