ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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