This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
