It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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