This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
