Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
