So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
