did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
