Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
