am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
