Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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