brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
