did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
