SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
