I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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