so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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