Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize