I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
