My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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