I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
