Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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