My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
