Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
