So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
