Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Damn victory sex feels great
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
