It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
