i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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