everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
